When to Make a Scene?

Jul 3, 2011 by Sara

So Friday night I went to dinner with friends and our kids. Alex was working late so I went solo.

After a relaxing greasy feast of Mexican specialties, including a house margarita, the kids started to get antsy in the 95F heat. (We were out on the patio).

They asked if they could check out the fountain, one table away, behind a young couple’s table. The margarita in me persuaded my otherwise strict self to conceed and the kids wandered over to check out the scene.

Immediately I saw that we’d made a mistake.

Clearly the young woman was irritated by the presence of three kids at her table and her date, who was busy on his cell phone, was even less enthused by his new visitors.

The table was out of earshot, but we watched, as the bo-hunk paused his cell phone conversation to say something to the kids. Whatever it was he said, they froze, confused. I saw Anna mouth the words: “What?” And he repeated it.

From the couple’s body language we knew it was imperative that we call the kids back, which we did with a sense of urgency.

The kids complied.

Five minutes later, my friend asked me: “Did you hear what that a**hole said?”

“No. What?”

“Get out of here or I’m going to pour hot sauce on your eyeballs.”

“He said what?! WHAT???”

Some time had passed and as I sat there, my blood started to boil.

I glared at this Neanderthal and his cheesy girlfriend. I glared and tried to burn holes into the couple’s foreheads.  I was so pissed I didn’t know what to do.

WHO TALKS TO CHILDREN LIKE THAT???

Yes, we should not have let them interrupt their meal. That was bad. OUR BAD. Not the kids.

I’m not one for scenes, but sometimes with a little liquid courage I might make one.

But the kids were there and it just didn’t seem appropriate. After all, I felt partly responsible for condoning the excusion in the first place.

So I continued my glare as we paid the check and I exchanged obnoxious glances with him as we walked out. Only AFTER warning the patrons who were waiting for our table to steer clear of the unfriendly couple by the fountain, in a loud enough voice that I thought would carry. (It was the least we could do).

So what would you have done? Raise hell in front of your kids?

Ignore it ?

Maybe I should have done this?

The Birds and The Bees

May 13, 2011 by Sara

I know it’s unusual for me to post three times in one day but when you get something as great as this in your inbox you have to share.

Here’s Julia Sweeney, of SNL fame, performing a monologue on how ‘the Birds and the Bees’ conversation went with her eight year-old daughter, Mulan.

As I was watching this I realized I’m within 2 years of having this conversation with my OWN daughter. (To my hubby: If you fell of your chair while reading this, don’t worry, we’ll get through it!).

Enjoy! and don’t get forget to enter the Fabkins giveaway!

Special thanks to MDW for sending this to me and to Big Geek Dad for originally posting it!

Go The F*ck to Sleep

May 7, 2011 by Sara

I just read the funniest “parenting” book online. It’s called Go the F*ck to Sleep by Adam Mansbach and illustrated by Ricardo Cortés.

It’s hysterical because it rings so true. As parents we’ve ALL muttered this phrase at one time or another, or maybe we still do, EVERY night. To those of you, I say, stay strong and hang in there.

This book will be the next best gift for all new mothers at baby showers. Actually I just pinned it on my board of Best Newborn Gifts. Go see!

According to a New Yorker article, the book morphed from a Facebook status update about his 2 hour struggle to get his daughter Vivian to sleep. Now it is a beautifully illustrated 36-page rant on the topic.

It is on pre-order at the moment, but it went viral in the last couple of days when a PDF version of the galley was sent to booksellers and was leaked.

Not cool.

It is really really funny.

And while I have a copy of the book in my inbox, I’m not going to link it here, because I hope you will support a writer and go buy a copy for all your pregnant friends.

Here’s an excerpt:

The cats nestle close to their kittens now.

The lambs have laid down with the sheep.

You’re cozy and warm in your bed, my dear.

Please go the fuck to sleep.

Sounds eerily familiar right? Just wait until you see this book. It’s great.

Please Meet Mr. Invisible

May 5, 2011 by Sara

My son Jack has new best friend, please meet: Mr. Invisible.

He’s his new imaginary friend, although he’s less of a playmate and let’s say  more of a scapegoat.

We first were introduced to Mr. Invisible about a week ago when a package of Oreo cookies went missing. The chocolate ring around my four year old’s mouth made it pretty clear what had happened to them but we decide to ask him anyway. You can imagine our shock when our sweet little boy who always tells the truth told us point-blank: “It was Mr. Invisible.”

Source: Shadow Desktop

Um, ok… this is new.

My first reaction was to try not to laugh.

“Mr. Invisible, hunh?  Does he know about our rule of not eating in the bedrooms?”

“Um no, I think he forgot.”

Then my son continues to tell me that Mr. Invisible is really peacock but sometimes he’s a flamingo. In my mind, I’m picturing the NBC mascot. (Maybe because it’s Chuck Todd‘s profile picture on Twitter – who knows).

My interpretation of Mr. Invisible

I’m not reading into any of this, I’m told this is all VERY normal.

We went along for a little bit and asked some more questions about our new houseguest, Mr. Invisible. We learned that he definitely has a sweet tooth and doesn’t mind at all being throw under the bus by our son. In fact, after we met him, he started getting blamed for a lot of things. Toys being left out, more snacks being snuck, TV shows being ‘mysteriously’ turned on and odd hours.

So, we had to make a new rule in the house.

If Mr. Invisible gets into trouble so does Jack.

He was fine with that, at first… Until the caramels went missing and both he and Mr. Invisible found themselves in looong time out.

That was two days ago.

Earlier today, Jack told me that Mr. Invisible has decided to move out and go stay at his friend Nathan’s house. When I asked him why, he said because “he just wanted to be free.”

Good because I am running out of cookies!

So check your cookie drawers and be warned, if there’s any missing, there’s a hungry invisible flamingo/peacock on the loose!

Does your child have an imaginary friend?

A Hairy Situation With My Kid

May 3, 2011 by Sara

YAY! Dr. B at MommyShorts is going to help me!

Here’s the dilemma I’m currently dealing with, it has to do with hair…

Anna has been independent straight out of my womb. She decided to come a week early, sleep on her own schedule (which meant not much) and recently, in addition to dressing herself, now insists on doing her own hair before school.

Most moms would rejoice at this level of independence from a five year old, anything to help get you out the door on time right?

But while I am proud and grateful, I am also extremely worried that Child Protective Services might knock on my door one day soon.

See, her independent “hairstyle” borders on looking “unkempt” and almost neglected, which I can assure you, she’s not.

It’s not her fault, really it’s not.

She has uncooperative hair.

See?

It’s fine, a bit limp and doesn’t stay put unless I braid it, tightly.  There’s a pesky wave on the back of her head and her part can’t decide on which side to flop.

But she’s trying, desperately and while it’s incredibly cute and realistically a huge help to me that she wants to get herself ready, I cringe a little bit right before she steps out the door.

But I don’t want to hover like a

I try not to correct or ‘fix’ her mishaped ‘ponytail’ because I want to be supportive and encouraging. I let my son go out with mismatched socks because he tells me he likes them that way. I’m encouraging their individuality right? Or am I just letting them, specifically her, be a target and subsequently embarrassed?

So what’s a mom to do? I’m posing this question to you and hopefully to Dr. B, Mommyshorts‘s sister and child development psychologist. She’s helped others with their questions on nakedness curiosity protocols and how to deal with fear and monsters for example.  I’m hoping she can help me before I add any more future topics to my daughter’s list of ‘future items to discuss with therapist about Mom.’

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