Morgan over at the Little Hen House is hosting a linkup with motherhood confessions, that when I read about it, I thought, yup… I can contribute to that one.
.
Here it goes, my dirty little secret… I lie to my kids.
Sometimes, not all the time, but sometimes, because I have to.
And I hate myself for it.
So here it goes, a quick list of the top lies I tell my kids:
Lies I tell my kids at breakfast
“Sorry honey, but we are all out of milk.”
That little bit of milk in the container? That’s for Mommy’s coffee.
Don’t touch. We are all out.
Lies I tell At Christmas
“Coco must have just loved that spot so much he decided to stay there AGAIN today!”
Coco is our resident “Elf on the Shelf.” Don’t have one of these yet? Oh…. just you wait.
You are supposed to pretend that your elf flies back to report to Santa every night leading up to Christmas. The catch is that Coco is supposed to choose a new hiding spot upon his return. The kids then race around the house to find his new hiding spot in the morning. Cute right?
Not so much when at 2AM you wake up in a bloody panic because you’ve forgotten all about Coco and he’s still perched on the mantle like he was yesterday. Or maybe since Monday? Oh crap… Hence my Holiday lie.
Lies I tell my kids at the grocery store
“Put that back, we don’t eat that crap.”
This is a bold faced lie because by “We” I usually mean “You” and not “Me”.
Mommy will gladly polish off a bag of Cool Ranch Doritos or Oreos when given the opportunity.
Lies I tell my kids at bedtime
“I have NO idea where ‘What Do People Do All-Day?’ could have possible gone!”
“Yes, Mommy IS reading ALL of the words on the pages”
C’mon people who’s with me on this one? You have to read all the little witty descriptions, to everything on the page. Sometimes, that book goes missing. The bad news? They always seem to find it.
Why do I think it’s ok to lie to my kids sometimes?
Because my Mom lied to me. ALL THE TIME. My favorite lie she told me?
“You’ll get boobs when you turn 16…
..18…
…21…
…when you have kids…”
I’m still waiting for my big bosoms Mom.
So that’s just the start of my list. What’s on yours?
What do you lie to your kids about?
C’mon you can tell me… I won’t tell anyone. I swear.
{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
When Charlie wants to do something that is a little too much to do, I will find myself saying, “Maybe we’ll do that tomorrow.” I apparently say it so often, that he now tells me the same thing! I am screwed when he starts to remember and realized I said we would do it the next day!
That’s funny Aud! They have elephant memories these little ones!
JDaniel caught me in the not enough milk. I have to watch my words.
I’ve found we have to watch everything
I HATE that book. We have that, and “Cars and Trucks and things that Go” or whatever. I’m not sure, I don’t get to read the cover that often, because I’m busy reading the TRACTOR page for 20 minutes. My son obsesses about the tractor page. Finally, three hours later I get him to run the page and…THERE’S ANOTHER TRACTOR! GAH!
OK JoAnn I love you.
I do the “not all the words” thing just about nightly. Of course I lie to my kids. Almost daily! It’s our God Given right as a mother!
I hide books all the time. The Grouchy Ladybug? I feel like I am going to pass out when I read it. Such small type on dark pages! And of course, Mazzy loves it.
while my kids were going through their religious phase (jewish preschool) i always told them we couldnt have (insert junk food name here) because it wasn’t kosher. they just solemnly nodded. it was the best trick. now, sadly, they’re older now and have figured out our home is not a kosher one.
writing this, i’m thinking hmm maybe it should be…