Heading to Kindergarten – Tips for Parents

Last year, my daughter Anna and I tackled Kindergarten together. I say ‘together’ because this transition was as much for me as it was for her and this was NOT the Kindergarten I remembered.

Remember naptime in Kindergarten? Well, they get 20 minutes of free play time now.

That’s it.

Unfortunately for us both (but definitely more for her) she ended up with a broken elbow on the second day of school. The break required surgery and 3 pins were placed in my baby’s delicate little arm. It was traumatic, probably more for me than her, but Anna adapted to life with a cast for the next 6 weeks.

Her pink AND purple cast was eye catching and garnered lots of attention from her new peers. The boys in her class were asked by the teacher to help her take down and put up her chair at the end of every day. And her girlfriends loyally sat with her on the side of the playground for the first few weeks as she was restricted from sports.

It was a tricky start to the year but she managed.

Monkey Bars 1 - Anna 0

When the novelty of Kindergarten wore off, around the same time the cast came off, we entered a new phase: Playground Dynamics.  Stories started coming home of not being “allowed” to play with someone at recess and being “left out”.  My mommy antennae went up.

Was this seriously starting already? This didn’t sound like 5 and 6 year old stuff, more like 4th and 5th grade stuff.

To my dismay, this stuff was indeed starting.

In fact we had already seen a little of it in our last few months of preschool. We navigated the rest of the school year carefully and started what I assume is the roller coaster of years to come.

We got through it by reading up on what Kindergartners were dealing with these days: added scholastic pressures, little downtime, and more exposure to adult behaviors through social media. Plus the normal development of dealing with budding personalities.

Two books that I highly recommend for parents with kindergartners (especially girls) are: Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades and  Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World.  I would even suggest reading them ahead of time so you will have the tools you need to navigate these bumps in the road when they come.

And trust me, they WILL come up.

Some other unsolicited nuggets I will pass on about Kindergarten based on our experience last year:

It’s a BIG change. Kids these days are learning a TON about reading and writing. By the end of the school year their output is mind-blowing. Support them, listen to them, if sounds like they are being overwhelmed LISTEN to them and give them a break.

Your kids are going to be TIRED. Make sure that they get tons of sleep. Physically and mentally this is a big transition and it’s exhausting. If that means taking a car trip just for the sake of getting them to pass out, DO IT.

Arm yourself for the playground dynamics that are going to come: read up on some great books on the topic:  Little Girls Can Be Mean: Four Steps to Bully-proof Girls in the Early Grades  and  Queen Bees and Wannabes: Helping Your Daughter Survive Cliques, Gossip, Boyfriends, and the New Realities of Girl World.

Don’t assume your kid is 100% innocent. Chances are your sweet and perfect child will try on those behaviors that others are trying on them. TALK about it with them.

And finally, you do not have to keep every scrap of paper that comes from Kindergarten (or any other grade for that matter). I give you permission to keep only those pieces that are “firsts.” The first book report, the first “A”.  As a rule when it came to art projects unless it had a fingerprint or was some kind of new piece I would keep it for about a week and then recycle it. You should keep a couple of holiday art pieces and bring them out around the holidays in future years. They LOVE that!

Good luck and I would love to know what to expect for 1st Grade so please let me know!!!