An Abbey to Say Goodbye and Start Anew
I just realized something I have in common with Prince William and his upcoming nuptials. Like me, he will be married in the same church where he said good-bye to his mother.
In 1997, I bawled as I watched Prince William and his brother, Harry, solemnly walk behind the horse drawn carriage that carried their mother, Princess Diana, to Westminster Abbey for her funeral. The envelope addressed to “mummy” resting on top of her coffin. Tastefully, the cameras did not pan to the royal family during the service, only the procession and the speakers were broadcasted, but sitting next to my mother on our couch, I imagined their grief as I watched through tear-brimmed eyes.
Four years later I would know their pain all to well as I said good-bye to my own mother.
Now, fifteen years later, on Friday, William will return to Westminster Abbey, this time to meet his bride, Catherine at the altar. An occasion full of joy.
And while the two women could not be more different and distinct, comparisons between the two have been made. Prince William himself has made sure his mother’s presence will be felt. He has given his betrothed his mother’s sapphire and diamond engagement ring; and they will return to Buckingham Palace in the same carriage, where the world will greet the newlywed royals as we did his parents.
I married my best friend 2 years almost to the day of my mother’s funeral, in the same church where we’d said good bye to her. Leading up to the decision of where to get married I was definitely conflicted and sad, I did not want to miss her any more than I had to on this special day, our day. But we chose our church because it was also a place of happier memories, confirmations, Christmas and Easter concerts, and it just made sense. Upon making the decision though, I worried about how I would react, being there, without her.
Like William, I wanted my mother’s presence to be felt, to be known.
So, we listed her name on the program.
And I asked the florist to provide a single rose at the altar in her honor.
It was simple and it was sweet.
But when it came time for me to enter the church, I turned the corner of the archway alone.
I walked up the aisle by myself to meet my prince at the altar.
She was the only one that could have walked me down the aisle, but she wasn’t there. So she did it with me in spirit.
Alex walked down to the third pew and met me to walk the rest of the way together, and we started our lives together as husband and wife.
For the rest of the ceremony I did not worry about being sad, or missing my mom. She had been properly represented. Her friends and family were there with us on that day sharing in that moment with us on her behalf.
I focused on him. I focused on us.
It was my own fairytale wedding.
So Prince William, take heart. I know your sadness in your mother not being there to share this special day with you both. You have done your part to make sure she is represented and not forgotten. When you get to the Abbey, yes, you may be sad for a small moment but when see your partner, you will know that this is your moment to start anew. Your mother will be right there by your side wishing only the best, because that’s what mothers do.
I’m glad I read this at home rather than work, because I got a little misty eyed. I’m sorry your Mom couldn’t be at your wedding. I’m glad you were able to have your fairy tale.
Tracy recently posted..Omniscience
Thank you Tracy!
I don’t know how women get through this. My godmother passed away shortly before her daughter was to get married and they changed the whole ceremony and switched churches, which was hard on everyone, but important to her. I refused to have my baby at the hospital where my mother was sick for a long time and where my aunt passed away. So good for you for seeing it as a memorial and an honoring, I think that’s really positive.
StephanieinSuburbia recently posted..Walk This WayPLEASE!
Leading up to the day was hard, especially because I was pretty convinced I was the only one who was aware of the significance. But it was a beautiful day all the way around. Thank you for stopping by! That Wee ‘Burb of yours sounds like a total cutie!
You always get me when you talk about your mother. I’m sure she would be so pleased to read everything you have written about her on your blog. I can’t think of a nicer tribute.
(Less than 24 hours til the wedding!)
Ilana recently posted..Baby Kills iPhone Mom Survives
Beautiful, Sara!
Thanks Kitty and thank you for sharing in viewing the real deal with me! So awesome to be with you!
Such a beautiful post about your mom and your wedding day. Whose idea was it for Alex to meet you at the third pew? I loved that part of the story. Thanks for sharing!
Very touching. Thank you for sharing. Most people we seek comfort during our loss will only tell you of theirs. But I would hope for a friend who would not be afraid to tell me sadness passes and everyone finds ways to celebrate life that ended. Because when I think of my mom, I want to be happy.
This was beautiful. I love that he met you halfway. An amazing tribute.
A bittersweet memory. You’ve handled it well and I’m sure you mom must be very proud.
This was so touching! I can’t imagine what your wedding planning or day was like without your mom there.
Beautiful post. I’m so sorry for your loss, truly. Mothers are such a blessing. I found your post via the Red Dress Club link up. Glad to have found you.
Cristi Comes recently posted..GIVEAWAY Silpada Designs Jewelry Ends 5-7
You succeeded in portraying your emotions in this post. Misty eyed.
This was lovely, Sara. Sad but lovely.
Angie@TheLittleMumma recently posted..War Within
I love the post, I love the emotion….and I love how you honored and continue to honor your mother. What a beautiful connection to the royal wedding.
This brought me to tears. So very many of them! You write beautifully and reflectively; this was a perfect example of that.
Galit Breen recently posted..The Red Dress Club- A Fight
I love this. You are such a great writer Sara, really. I didn’t realize when we met at JB that your mom had passed away so soon before that. xoxo
Kathryn C recently posted..The Cherry On Top – A New Way to Look at Buying Real Estate
What a beautiful and healing process to have gone through. Kudos.
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