Craigslist Ad: free iPad, iPhone and Macbook
SF bay area craigslist > for sale / wanted > free stuff
free iPad, iPhone and MacBook (san francisco / new york / miami)
Date: 2011-02-24, 3:26PM PST
Reply to: [email protected]
FREE – one iPhone, one iPad, one Macbook laptop and anything else with an internet connection that I can find in my house.
Available to the first responder that is unmarried and without children as I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else.
My wife and I are not on speaking terms any more. She has finally gone too far and therefore I am giving away what I think will tick her off the most. Her electronics.
She is a self-described nerd with an addictive personality. In the early nineties, I watched her turn into a zombie when the Sims game launched. For hours she played in these reality worlds building fake cities and families. At first I thought it was hot, I mean a tall blonde chick that likes Tron and can speak geek? But when she dissed me one night in order to install a fake power plant for her cyber city, I knew we had a problem. I finally said something and steered her back to planning our wedding and her real job. She begrudgingly put the game aside.
Two years later, when faced with fertility problems, she again turned online and found a forum of women experiencing similar issues. She checked in daily with these women, and told them when we “baby danced” and when her “cervical mucous” was primed. I ignored the growing addiction that was brewing because I considered it cheap therapy that didn’t take away from my golf membership fund. Plus it was anonymous, at least I thought it was, now 5 years later apparently we exchange Christmas cards with these ‘fertility friends.’
With the birth of our daughter, my wife then discovered facebook and plastered photo after photo of our princess for the world to see. Since nobody stopped her or said anything, she continued after our son was born. The fertility friends joined too and they continued their online therapy sessions. I’ll admit I was kind of ok with this too because hey, our kids are pretty cute and the photos kept the extended family informed.
But recently she’s discovered blogging. She now blogs, tweets and researches constantly. It was fine when I had lost her to seasons of reality TV, like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills whose insipid heroines gab about plastic surgery and designer handbags. But yesterday was the last straw…
I came home to find that the kids had had 2 pieces of wheat bread with cheese for dinner. Not a grilled cheese, just bread and cheese. Mommy was too busy blogging.
To say, she has an addiction is an understatement. She is wired-in, twenty-four-seven. I had to email her just so we could have this fight. It was a doozy and I’m hoping this intervention of sorts will snap her out of it. The kids are looking malnourished and I’m sick of feeling ignored.
So email me if you want all her stuff, but be forewarned, nothing is free and these electronics do come with a price.
I will deliver or ship for free.
Signed,
Disgruntled husband.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 223288557A
The previous was submitted as part of a writing project for the Red Dress Club.
We want you to imagine you’ve just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child – you get the picture. You’re mad. It’s time for revenge.
What would you sell?
Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig’s List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.
I couldn’t think of who to be mad at, so I decided I’d be the guilty party in this little experiment. While Alex did not really say these things, since this was the Valentine’s day card I gave him this year, which he loved, I’m guessing he would have no problem signing his name to this ad!
Whose stuff would you sell? OK no more blogging for me (for now).
That was spooky…it’s like I was reading my own husbands thoughts!!
Love it
Visiting from RDC
Holy Guacamole! I came very close to selling hubby’s youtube addiction on his iphone, yours came out much better than mine would have. Great post!
Stopped by through TRDC
That was AWESOME!
Love. More than a little truth to that…
And thanks for your comment on my post!
I laughed at the online community. I’m in one of those too. My husband so could have written this.
I have 3 new best friends from my online community. DH does think it’s odd we do the Xmas card thing now. oh well!
Since I’m trying NOT to pay attention to my family right now, I’ll buy those. Call me!
swing on by!
I swear, sub SIMCITY for SIMS and you have my husband’s dream ad.
I hear the new one is really amazing. I’m not allowed to look.
As a dude I should say I find this offensive, but I don’t. I have a MacBook and an iPhone and my whole life is on my MacBook, but I like to think I don’t have an addiction. Then again, most addicts won’t admit to their addiction, so I may be full of crap…
first step is admitting you have a problem.. but then again who wants to recover?
You have to feed the addiction, don’t squash it!
This is classic! I think my husband says this in his mind all the time!
p.s. I’ll take everything…feed my addiction! haha
Oh I am bad but not quite that bad.. that was hilarious..came by from TRDC
We need to be friends, because we are onepersonsameperson and we have the same husband. A little creepy, but a lot funny. Thanks!
maybe you are in my bizarro world?
Hilarious…though I could see my husband saying/doing a similar thing!
Thanks for commenting on my post too!
Spooky…for some reason this sounds pretty familiar…love that you put yourself in this ad!
This is too funny. I have to admit, I’m attached to my mac and it’s probably what my hubby thinks.
I hung my head in shame about the Christmas cards. I may or may not have done that this year.
it’s all good if you still sign it with your username and not your real identity. thanks for reading.
It’s funny because it’s true – so easy to get sucked in, isn’t it? Makes me rethink my own addiction…as I type this comment
Great job!
I swear, my husband could have written this post.
From the fertility troubles to the blogging obsession…the similarities are spooky, honestly.
This line made me choke on my coffee: ” I had to email her just so we could have this fight.”
Great post!
technology is good for all kinds of communication isn’t it? I’ve definitely sent a few texts to smooth things over before. sorry about your coffee.
Yes. Yes that would be me.
Have you been interviewing my spouse?
Except that, I swear to god, cold cheese on whole wheat is my 3y/o’s favorite lunch.
Still giggling.
And clutching my MacBook tight.
I agree, for lunch it’s ok. but lunch AND dinner? not so much. Thanks for reading!
I think you nailed this one. Not that I’m in anyway on my computer too much or deliberately thinking of quick dinners so I can join a Twitter party on Wednesdays or anything. I’ll have to try the cold cheese and bread. Good idea!
cream cheese is another good substitute. thanks for stopping by!
I think you just summed up what EVERYONE’s Husband is thinking! Excellent post. Love that you can laugh at yourself (and of course, all of us reading this!) My favorite is what’s for supper – My bad is ramen noodles – hey at least mine’s warm!
Yes you definitely get extra points for a warm meal. thanks for reading. I hope our husbands don’t gang up on us all.
I honestly believe my husband could’ve written this post. A few details changed here or there, and it’s like you read his mind.
Maybe your husband and my hubby can start their own online support group – then maybe he’ll get off my back.
I adore this. It was written with such humor and ease.
You’re so good. Clearly, you’ve struck a nerve. I, too, could totally relate.
This was my favorite bit: “I came home to find that the kids had had 2 pieces of wheat bread with cheese for dinner. Not a grilled cheese, just bread and cheese. Mommy was too busy blogging.” I am soooo guilty of that! In fact, I was so busy playing Kingdom Hearts (the Xbox broke, waaaa!) that I gave my daughter a peanut butter and chocolate squish for dinner. Please don’t tell my husband. He might say something about pot calling kettle black or some such nonsense. Great post!
“I had to email her just so we could have this fight.”
Best line! And I have SO been there! Oh, wait. I AM the blogger…
iPod and Angry Birds here.
My husband hates the iPod.
Did you know with a good wifi connection you can tweet/blog/google from the comfort of your recliner?
“Had to email just to have this fight…” CLASSIC! That was funny! I’ve seen this… so many times!
Your husband and my husband should become friends. They can have playdates with the kids while we tweet back and forth to one another while monitoring our blog traffic. They’ll have so much to talk about!
This was awesome. Glad I clicked on it from your archives.
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