Feb 24, 2011 by Sara
SF bay area craigslist > for sale / wanted > free stuff
free iPad, iPhone and MacBook (san francisco / new york / miami)
Date: 2011-02-24, 3:26PM PST
Reply to: [email protected]
FREE – one iPhone, one iPad, one Macbook laptop and anything else with an internet connection that I can find in my house.
Available to the first responder that is unmarried and without children as I wouldn’t wish this on anyone else.
My wife and I are not on speaking terms any more. She has finally gone too far and therefore I am giving away what I think will tick her off the most. Her electronics.
She is a self-described nerd with an addictive personality. In the early nineties, I watched her turn into a zombie when the Sims game launched. For hours she played in these reality worlds building fake cities and families. At first I thought it was hot, I mean a tall blonde chick that likes Tron and can speak geek? But when she dissed me one night in order to install a fake power plant for her cyber city, I knew we had a problem. I finally said something and steered her back to planning our wedding and her real job. She begrudgingly put the game aside.
Two years later, when faced with fertility problems, she again turned online and found a forum of women experiencing similar issues. She checked in daily with these women, and told them when we “baby danced” and when her “cervical mucous” was primed. I ignored the growing addiction that was brewing because I considered it cheap therapy that didn’t take away from my golf membership fund. Plus it was anonymous, at least I thought it was, now 5 years later apparently we exchange Christmas cards with these ‘fertility friends.’
With the birth of our daughter, my wife then discovered facebook and plastered photo after photo of our princess for the world to see. Since nobody stopped her or said anything, she continued after our son was born. The fertility friends joined too and they continued their online therapy sessions. I’ll admit I was kind of ok with this too because hey, our kids are pretty cute and the photos kept the extended family informed.
But recently she’s discovered blogging. She now blogs, tweets and researches constantly. It was fine when I had lost her to seasons of reality TV, like Real Housewives of Beverly Hills whose insipid heroines gab about plastic surgery and designer handbags. But yesterday was the last straw…
I came home to find that the kids had had 2 pieces of wheat bread with cheese for dinner. Not a grilled cheese, just bread and cheese. Mommy was too busy blogging.
To say, she has an addiction is an understatement. She is wired-in, twenty-four-seven. I had to email her just so we could have this fight. It was a doozy and I’m hoping this intervention of sorts will snap her out of it. The kids are looking malnourished and I’m sick of feeling ignored.
So email me if you want all her stuff, but be forewarned, nothing is free and these electronics do come with a price.
I will deliver or ship for free.
Signed,
Disgruntled husband.
it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 223288557A
The previous was submitted as part of a writing project for the Red Dress Club.
We want you to imagine you’ve just had a fight with a friend, a co-worker, husband, significant other, child – you get the picture. You’re mad. It’s time for revenge.
What would you sell?
Write a humorous listing for eBay or Craig’s List. Talk about the history of the items, why they must go.
I couldn’t think of who to be mad at, so I decided I’d be the guilty party in this little experiment. While Alex did not really say these things, since this was the Valentine’s day card I gave him this year, which he loved, I’m guessing he would have no problem signing his name to this ad!
Whose stuff would you sell? OK no more blogging for me (for now).
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