My Mom and me.

Tomorrow, I’ll be walking in the 2012 San Francisco Avon Walk for Breast Cancer in honor of my Mom. My mom lost her battle with cancer on July 27, 2000.

My mom died after she developed AML (acute myelogenous leukemia) which we believe resulted from the intense chemotherapy she underwent during her stem cell transplant to combat her second aggressive breast cancer in 1998.  That cancer had attacked 37 lymph nodes and they needed to pull out all the stops.  Hence, the stem cell transplant. It was an instense battle.

The stem cell transplant worked (?) but came with a price I guess, and when she developed AML a few years later, her body was too weak to fight yet another epic battle.

The Avon Walk for Breast Cancer is a 39.3 mile fundraising and awareness event, where over 2 days, I will walk in a sea of pink through out the San Francisco Bay Area to help fight breast cancer.

This will be my first event with Avon. In the past, I’ve walked with the Susan G. Komen organization and done two 3-Day walks, one in 2011 and one in 2009.  Our team was awesome, the Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas and you can read about that here. I’ve also done numerous Race for the Cure events with the Komen organization.  For personal reasons, I decided to switch events and walk with Avon. I’m really excited to see what this walk will be like although I’m not expecting too much of a difference.  This isn’t meant to be a statement, well I guess it is… but whatever.

Bottom line, I’m walking to end breast cancer. As Avon says, I’m in it to end it.

I wish I didn’t have to walk at all but if I’m going to walk I’m really glad that my good friend, Rachael is going to be walking with me. My other teammates, my amazing mother-in-law,  sister-in-law and cousin weren’t able to join us this year but I know they will be back another time. Plus, my amazing mother-in-law is watching my kids this weekend for which I’m SO grateful!

Rachael and Sara. 2011 Team Maidens for Mammograms & Margaritas

I look like a chipmunk in this picture but whatever…

So if you’re in the area, come on out and cheer us on as we walk from Fort Mason to Corte Madera and back again this Saturday and Sunday. Oh boy…

Here’s the route:

I promise to tweet and post photos as I go on instagram and twitter!

Thank you to my amazing sponsors and family for supporting me in this important cause! You guys are amazing!

Also, if you want to walk with me in New York or to support my fundraising for that event you can click here. 

xo,

SARA

The post Walking for My Mom. Walking to End Breast Cancer… Again appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

Source: medgadget.com

Today is the last Friday in October which is breast cancer awareness month.

So in honor of Fridays and Breast Cancer Awareness I want everyone to:

Take (a) Good  Informed Feel!

Give yourself a proper breast self-exam and know your risks. Not sure how? Here’s a quick how-to:

source: National Breast Cancer Foundation

You know your boobs best and can detect any changes that warrant a chat with your MD.

So let’s go ladies and men you can help out here too

TGIF!

The post TGIF = Take (a) Good Informed Feel appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

Woo hoo! We have 2 lucky winners in the Denim Day Lee Jeans giveaway!  I love it when there is more than 1 winner!!

I loved hearing everyone’s stories about what would happen if they lost their favorite pair of jeans or if they were stolen.  It sounds like we are all pretty attached to them.

Just a little bit.

For Ilana over at MommyShorts her schlubby pair and her sexy pair are pretty much one and the same. She just switches up the shoes. Brilliant! Why don’t I do that??

These fun pink shoes can go from Day  to Night. Day shoes from dv dolce for $79 and Night shoes are Fergie’s Women’s Awareness shoes at $79.99. Both are available at Shoes.com with FREE SHIPPING.

One thing that was clear from this contest…. People are VERY attached to their blue jeans! For example, Nicolle turned her favorite pair into a mini when they became unwearable and Shelli even drove 900 miles to her mom to get hers repaired!

Those gals are committed.

Shawn, Diane, and Natalie all agreed that it would be “devastating” and “horrible” if their pairs went missing and Diane even hinted at a little violence if she was to be around when the perp tried to nab her favorite pair of blues.

Be warned people! Do not come between someone and their favorite pair of jeans.

source: Inmagine

Lisa who posts over at Frugal Family Fun and Julie who recently lost 20 pounds  (Awesome job Julie!) both entered the contest in hopes of winning a new pair of skinny jeans. I’m not sure ladies, but they might be calling them “jeggings” now?

Teri made me giggle when she told me that if you had to wear clothes at all then you might as well wear your sexy jeans. Good advice Teri.  I’m fairly modest so I think I will wear my sexy jeans over going naked around town

Although when I think about it, I am almost always in search of the perfect pair, like my good pal Rachael from Happy Rachael who like me is forever looking for that magic pair. I do have to say that I’ve enjoyed the pairs I got from Lee to try out for myself. They arrived in the knick of time and I’ve been happily wearing them around town. That’s really true because they didn’t ask me to say any of that!

So first of all THANK YOU to all of you that entered and helped get the word out about Lee Denim Day.  I don’t know how much they raised to benefit  Women’s Cancer Programs of the Entertainment Industry Foundation (EIF) but I’m hoping it was A LOT!

I do know that a lot of my readers went and made a donation for a couple extra entries into this contest and I’m totally gratefull and again humbled that we raised $475.00 towards this awesome cause.

Thank you guys SO MUCH!

So without further ado… and as decided by Random.Org out of the 132 entries our 2 lucky winners are….

Natalie and Lisa!

Please email me at periwinklepapillon at gmail dot com to claim your prize!

Also, another quick shout out to Mike Rowe and his mom, Peggy. The official celebrity Ambassadors for Lee Denim Day. I can’t think of a better, cuter, funnier team than this mother-son duo for such a great cause.

Here’s a couple of pics from the official Mike Rowe Works blog entry from Lee Denim Day on October 7th:

Could they be ANY cuter?

Finally, I love love love that no one challenged my new word: Schlubby which I totally made up for my original post of this contest! HA!

Thanks again everyone for helping to raise awareness and the funds to help get rid of breast cancer once and for all!

-Sara

The post Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner! I mean JEANS!!! appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

Why You Should Love Mike Rowe (if you don’t already):

Mike Rowe Takes His Pants Off

5. Dirty Jobs – coolest show ever on Discovery Channel and he even spoofed it to Sesame Street! Which we all know is the ultimate stamp of celebrity status: when the Muppets come calling.

Mike’s so cool that he is probably the ONLY celebrity that has been invited to use “the back door” to Oscar’s trash can. Confused? Watch this clip.

He also  narrates one of the most addictive shows on television, Deadliest Catch. How on earth I find myself watching grizzly crab fisherman haul traps at 2AM I will never know. But I’m pretty sure the sound of Mike Rowe’s voice had something to do with it. I’ve come pretty close to running out and buying a Ford too after he pops on my TV screen.

The guy is that good.

Some other more random reasons why you should love him:

4.  He may be über manly but he can sing opera. Or at least he used to, in high school. True fact. I learned this from listening to his interview with Adam Carolla on this podcast.

3. In high school, he rode a horse to school, in Baltimore. That’s 100% true.  How friggin’ cool is that?? Again inside knowledge gained from this podcast -but I really wish he went on the Parent Experiment and talked about his work with kids and the boy scouts and stuff. Now THAT would be a GREAT show!

2. Mike Rowe is 100% American and he cares about American jobs and people. He’s established a cool site called MikeRoweWorks.com because he’s concerned about the decline in the blue collar jobs and skill set in our country. He’s passionate about that one – and it’s an interesting topic as it flies in the face of everything should be computer, technology driven. His point: you still need electricians and tradesmen and we need to value their professions. Good point Mike.

And the number 1 reason why you should love Mike Rowe like I do?

1. He’s passionate about fighting breast cancer. He has signed on to be the Lee Jeans Celebrity Ambassador for Oct. 7th Denim Day. His mother, Peggy is a breast cancer survivor and he, like me, is passionate about fighting the disease. He even takes his pants off for the campaign!

Watch this adorable video and you will fall in love with him all over again.

And when you’ve finished watching that, be sure to click here and enter my giveaway, two lucky winners will win a free pair of Lee Jeans.

And if you do what Mike says in the video, donate what you would pay for a pair of jeans to the Periwinkle Papillon Denim Day Team, you’ll get extra entries into the contest and more importantly, you’ll help fight breast cancer.

The post Top 5 Reasons Why You Should All Love Mike Rowe appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

We all have ‘em.  That pair you reach for when you just want to throw something on to drive the kiddos to car pool or to grab a pint of milk.  The pair that you are wearing when you can grab five minutes in the garden or take the pooch around the block.

Your “schlubby” pair. 

Then there’s the pair you covet for date night. They’re tight, sexy and fit your butt perfectly.

You tried on 20 pairs before this pair and these are special.

When these slide up over your thighs you feel like Cinderella slipping back on that glass slipper. A perfect fit.  Your “sexy” pair.

Your shlubby pair and your sexy pair…

Of jeans.

Schlubby Pair

Somehow they don’t need to be washed everytime you wear them. They are excused from that rotation. And it’s not gross. Not at all.

You wear them religiously. You break them in. They soften. They fade.

You develop a relationship with this pair until you practically live in them.

They may even have one or two rips in them – if that’s your style.

You are your best self in these jeans.  No matter what the rest of you looks like.

Mischa Barton sports Lee Jeans in a more "schlubby" style. Nice Airport, France, July 2010. Source: Denimology

Mischa is still ridiculously cute in her schlubby pair and her canary yellow flats, plus she JUST got off an airplane. Good for you Mischa, nicely done!

Skinny Pair

The skinny pair stays in the closet, maybe even hanging up, on a real hanger. A grown-up hanger.

They sit, patiently, waiting for that special night when you spring for a babysitter and actually shave your legs.

They aren’t just “jeans” they are part of your “ensemble.”

The perfect shade of blue, the perfect fit that makes you feel like a W-o-m-a-n.

In them, you own it. You’re on.

It’s all good. Like Elle here:

Elle MacPherson wears her Lee Jeans to drop off her sons to school. Because she's Elle MacPherson her skinny jeans ARE her schlubby jeans. For me, these would be my "special" jeans and I'd take her legs too! Nicely done Elle. Nicely done. source: Denimology

When Disaster Strikes

This special exempt piece of clothing in your wardrobe that some may call “jeans” is more like your uniform.  Your jeans are the foundation of your style pyramid, your base, your second skin.

So… what would happen if say, your favorite pair of jeans was accidentally lost, stolen or *gasp* permanently stained?

If you are anything like me – you’d probably get really really frustrated and then set out on the excruciating mission of replacing them immediately.

Or…

Maybe if you’re a lot like me and they were only “mildly” splattered with paint you’d probably try to see if you could get away with wearing them for just a little bit longer, until someone called you out on it.

That’s what I might do. Maybe.

So tell me…

On a scale of 1-10, how big of a deal would it be if your favorite pair of jeans, schlubby or sexy, were gone?   

Because I’ve teamed up with Lee Jeans and their Denim Day campaign to help fight breast cancer, 2 lucky commenters will be chosen at random and will each win a free pair of Lee Jeans of their choosing.   These can replace your current favorite pair of jeans if they really have gone missing or do need to be retired once and for all.

Rules:

• Giveaway ends Thursday, October 6th – 11:30 PM PST.
• You MUST leave at least 1 comment telling me how big of a deal it would be to lose your favorite pair of jeans (for any reason).
• Extra entries can be obtained by doing any and all of the following – just come back and tell me that you did:

1. Tweet about the giveaway, be sure to mention #DenimDay and @PeriwinklePapi in your tweet! (=1 extra entry per tweet)
2. Copy a link to this giveaway onto your Facebook page
3. Like Periwinkle Papillon on Facebook (=1 extra entry)

SUPER DUPER BONUS ENTRIES

FOR EVERY $5 YOU DONATE to the Periwinkle Papillon Lee Jeans National Denim Day Team* you get GET 1 BONUS ENTRY!
(I will track these in a spreadsheet and then add them to the final drawing.)

WOO HOO! GOOD LUCK!

About Lee National Denim Day®

Lee Jeans is proud to have helped raise more than $83 million for the fight against breast cancer since 1996. All donations go to the Women’s Cancer Programs of EIF whose funding strategy is results-driven and brings together some of the very best scientists and institutions in the country to collaborate in groundbreaking research projects which fast track better prevention methods and improved therapies for treatment of breast cancer.

The post Schlubby or Sexy, We All Have A Favorite Pair. appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

The San Francisco 3-Day, September 9th-11th, 2011

Over the weekend I participated in my second Susan G. Komen 3-Day event and I walked 60 miles over 3 days to help raise awareness and money for breast cancer.

It was hard.

Physically it was challenging.

Me on Day 3 about to walk over the Golden Gate Bridge

Emotionally it was both heart wrenching and inspiring.

Walking 60 miles may not sound difficult – especially when you are doing it with friends and the mood alternates from moving and inspirational to a total party.  But when you hit mile 12 and still have 8 more to go and the bottoms of your feet hurt, like really, really, hurt, it’s hard.

But you have to keep going because you can, and there are others around you that can’t… because they are having surgery, or are in the middle of chemo or… because they are no longer with us.

Because of breast cancer.

So you put one foot in front of another and you walk.

Maybe slower than you did when you set out at 6AM but you keep walking with the goal in mind: not to walk 60 miles but to put an end to breast cancer.

So that’s what I did.

Tears: It’s Alright to Cry

My brother and the family came out to support us.

I cried a lot this past weekend.

A lot.

There were silent tears streaming down my face in the taxi on the way to Opening Ceremony as I thanked my incredible mother-in-law and sister-in-law for agreeing to do this for me.

There was the surprise cry that came when I saw my little brother waiting on the docks to cheer me on.

On Sunday I cried as we walked in silence to remember the anniversary of September 11th and I remembered Gary Koecheler and his family and all those the heroes that lost their lives that day.

And the weepy cry at Closing Ceremonies when all I could think of was how sad I was that my own mother was not standing in the Survivors Circle.

In between, there were also tears of laughter as I walked with my new amazing friend Rachael and my amazing family. The conversation went from types of lube to best parenting practices.  Yep, we covered it all.

It felt good to cry. To laugh. To lean on others and to keep walking.

Team Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas

Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas

Susan

My mother-in-law and my mom share the same name: Susan. They also share a special place in my heart as two women that I proudly call “Mom.” They were great friends and I know Susan misses her very much. She has always been the sole grandmother and has always respected the responsibility that role comes with. She’s always trying to find ways to talk about my mom and keep her memory alive with my kids. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.

Without hesitation Susan signed up to walk again with me this year after she walked in 2009 with our cousin Audrey.  Once again, she was the energizer bunny, walking along, never complaining and always looking ahead.  I’m so honored that she agreed to do this again with me and so proud that we can say we’ve done 2 together. Ready for the next one Mom?

Victoria

My sister-in-law is an athlete. I used to be an athlete and in my head I still think I am.

Victoria & Sara: Breast Friends

But I’m not.  Alex pointed this out to me the other day. I’m not in high school soccer any more.

Anyway, when I asked my sister-in-law if she would do the 3-Day with me she immediately said yes. Then she realized she would need to seriously plan around her 2 small children to make this work. And she did. Without complaining or fussing she made it work. She trained for this and for her half-marathon and she raised the money.

There’s something about sisters that I truly appreciate now that Victoria and I are just that, sisters.

They always have your back.

And when I would be silently crying at something over the 3-Day, instinctively she knew, and she would put an arm around me from behind and give me a squeeze. I’m so grateful that she did this with me and hopefully will do others going forward.

Oh and I mentioned that athlete thing because even Victoria said this walk was hard! She admitted that at first she thought walking was going to be easy but she had a new found respect for the event by the end of Day 1. But she’s the athlete because she’s going to run a half-marathon in a few weeks. You go girl!

Rachael

So, I’m not even sure how this happened but thanks to blogging, twitter and facebook I connected with Rachael from Happy MommyBlog. She posted somewhere that she was going to do the 3-Day in SF solo and I pounced. She just HAD to join our team: Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas!

Personally, I needed a tentmate for camping at night and she seemed awesome. It was weird to send a message that basically said: “So… hi,… um… you don’t know me but do you want to live with me for 3-Days?” 

Thank goodness she agreed because we were destined to meet.

Rachael fits in my life like a perfect pair of jeans. I don’t know what that means, but it’s true. She’s true blue, comfy to be around and we all loved her. You know like that awesome pair of jeans you own? Plus she let me cry without making me feel weird.

She’s one in a million that girl. You all need to be her friend, immediately. I’m still adjusting to life without her 24/7. I don’t think I like it very much and am going to suggest that we all move down the street from one another!

Happy Rachael from HappyMommyBlog

Our Goals

To sum up, we made it our goal to walk 60 miles and to raise awareness for breast cancer.

We did that.

In order to do the 3-Day you are supposed to raise a minimum of $2,300 per walker. Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas set a goal of $10,000 and we BLEW IT OUT OF THE WATER!

I’m extremely proud to say our team has raised over $17,000!!!

I have to give a very special thank you to Janice our team member that flew all the way in from Michigan to walk with our team and then promptly came down with one of the worst flus I’ve ever heard of. She wasn’t able to walk with us those three days but she trained hard and raised a terrific amount of money for the cause. I am so looking forward to doing this with her next time.

Giving Thanks

The Amazing Men

They took care of little mouths and butts.  They drove some of us to starting points and picked us back up. They took kids to soccer games, sometimes to the wrong fields, but they got them there anyway.

They are amazing and awesome.

Thank you to my awesome brother Geoff who came and gave me that special bear hug where we remembered our mom together. It meant the world to me to share that with him.

To my own amazing Alex, who not only took care of the kiddos but sent me inspirational videos of them and brought them to the cheering stations. I love you.

Donors and Supporters

A special thank you to all of you who gave so generously so that our team could do this walk. The +$17K raised will go towards ending the fight against breast cancer.

Thank you to all of you who wrote messages of encouragement leading up to and all through the 3-Day.

A special thank you to Wendy at Wendy Will Blog who generously shared her personal story with breast cancer so that I could share with you one of the many heroes I was proud to walk in honor of.

Thank you to all the people that added their names to our team shirts. We were so honored to walk 60 miles in their name and we look forward to doing it again next year!

What’s Next?

So I’ve been taking names and am keeping a list.  Many of you have said you’re in for next year.

San Francisco? Michigan?

Let’s do this folks! I can’t wait.

In the meantime, you can expect to hear a lot more from me about breast cancer awareness as we head into Breast Cancer Awareness month in October.

Support Periwinkle Papillon and
Lee National Denim Day in their campaign to fight breast cancer.

For example, I’m going to be teaming up with Lee Jeans for their Denim Day drive.  Lee Jeans has asked me to compete in a little friendly competition against some other bloggers all for a good cause. We are going to try to see who can get the most teammates to a) commit to wear denim and 2) pledge the cost of their jeans (any jeans) on October 7th.   Leading up to this, I’m going to be hosting a couple of great giveaways so be sure to join the Periwinkle Papillon team to show your support!

More about that later…

So What Now????

Get those Mammies Grammed!

Go Touch Yourself!

Lots of love,

Sara

Here are all my pictures – click on them to view larger.

The post My 2011 Susan G. Komen San Francisco 3-Day appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

Ummm, I may have found my signature white wine.
If they’d like to sponsor me, I’m open to that.

One Hope Chardonnay

50% of ONE Hope’s Profits are Donated to the Fight Against Breast Cancer.

Call me.
Xo
Sara

The post Beverages I Can Get Behind appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

Part 3: The Nitty Gritty

[author] [author_image timthumb='on']http://www.periwinklepapillon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/sara_profile_pic.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]This is Part 3 of my discussion in getting tested for the BRCA 1 and 2 tests.

For Part 1: Girl Parts click here.

For Part 2: A Decision click here. [/author_info] [/author]

When you google breast cancer genetic testing, you will end up at Myriad Labs one way or another.  They have cornered the market on this. This is the company that I went with when I finally decided to get tested for the breast cancer gene markers.

Myriad’s website is chock full of information. Complete overload for someone just looking to see what is involved in getting a genetic test. But important information nonetheless. I started my investigation into the matter there.

Mentally deciding whether or not to get the test is no joke.  Physically, I would learn, it’s a piece of cake.

Source: Lyme Pregnancy

It’s a simple blood test where they take two vials of blood and mail it off.

Poof, that’s it.

Three weeks later a genetic counselor calls you to schedule an appointment to go over the results. Given the gravity of the message you would expect bigger hoops for everyone to have to jump through but in all honesty once you decide to go through with it you only have your mind games to mess with you.

I will describe my personal experience which involved a wonderful counselor we will call Rosemary. I understand that not everyone gets an amazing genetic counselor like Rosemary, who holds your hand as your recount your life story and generously offers Kleenex while not judging as you do an ugly cry in her office.

Forgive me if it can be different but this will give you the gist, and I will HOPE that everyone gets to meet a Rosemary type should they decide to get tested.

The genetic counselors first job is to take a detail family history and subsequently assess the likelihood of your testing positive for the gene even before you roll up your sleeve.  She will write up a report and using statistical models she will make a recommendation to the insurance company on your behalf asking them to pay for these über expensive blood tests.

Next, she will assess your mental stability by carefully prodding as to your motivations for getting the test. This is where you can expect the tears to flow and her Kleenex supply to be never ending… Bless her heart.

She will be gracious, professional but tender.  (Again, I’m hoping for your sake she was like my Rosemary).

Then depending on just how ugly your cry is and how you answer her probing questions, she will then counsel you as to whether or not you should even take the test.  She may be concerned as to whether or not you can handle the results or be willing to go through with any of the recommended preventive measures should you receive a positive results.

In a nutshell, you are taking the test because you have to be willing to do something different if you test positive. Once you know – there’s no turning back. The statistics if you have the gene markers are just mind numbing.

If you test positive for the BRCA 1 and 2 tumor markers you have up to a 50% risk of developing breast cancer before age 50 and up to an 87% risk of developing it by age 70. While the general population is at a 2% and 7% respectively.

source: Myriad Labs

I studied these facts and then made a powerpoint presentation. This is how I told my husband I was ready to get tested. I made a slideshow.

If you’ve ever doubted me when I say that I’m a geek at heart that should clinch it for you.

I’m a total geek.

In my slideshow I also paraphrased every bit of data I had learned. Including the recommended next steps for which I included this chart:

source: Myriad Labs

After I laid out my family history and then overlaid the facts, it was a bleek outlook and I wanted us to be on the same page. By my calculations I was at a much higher risk of testing positive.  I was convinced I was going to be looking at a mastectomy and possibly an oopherectomy as well (removal of ovaries).  I was prepapred.

Have I mentioned that I have a slight anxiety issue? It’s possible I was overreacting.

I made us both read  Pretty is What Changes the autobiography of Jessica Queller and her journey to get a preventive mastectomy after unceremoniously receiving test results that she tested positive for the BRCA gene.  It’s a MUST read for anyone considering genetic testing as you will walk away with a clear understanding of what you must be prepared to face.

I also lurked on message boards over at FORCE, an acronym for Facing Our Risk of Cancer Empowered which was mentioned in Jessica’s book. They talked about a new group of women, called previvors who upon learning about their genes took their destinies into their own hands. It was truly empowering.

Armed with information and my powerpoint presentation I met with Rosemary and had two vials of blood drawn. And then waited…

For three weeks we waited.

It was the longest three weeks of my life.

Source: Tattoo Johnny

Part 4: The Results… (coming)

The post BRCA Testing Part 3: The Nitty Gritty (That’s With An “N” not a “T”) appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

Part One: Girl Parts

[author] [author_image timthumb='on']http://www.periwinklepapillon.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/sara_profile_pic.jpg[/author_image] [author_info]This next series of posts will highlight my journey in deciding to get genetic testing for the BRCA 1 and 2 genes, the breast cancer gene markers. It’s personal in nature and I hope also a little bit educational. If anyone has any questions about the process please don’t hesitate to contact me. I’d be happy to chat with anyone about this.[/author_info] [/author]

When I first found out I was successfully pregnant, I begged my OB to hazard a guess as to the baby’s sex at 15 weeks. This is way earlier than any doctor would normally tell you what you are having because at this point usually not everything is that well defined. But I persisted and the doctor indulged me, after all he had a fifty-fifty shot at being right. So he told me:

“A boy! I’m 60% sure it’s a boy!”  Then he added: “And I’m never wrong.”

Happily I called my family to tell them the good news. We were almost out of the woods after two miscarriages and felt we could now share the long awaited good news. “A baby! A boy!”

Christmas vacation came and went and I dreamily imagined life with our newborn son.

When we got back from Christmas break my next OB appointment came around and it was time to officially know the sex of our baby. Cockily I went in thinking, yeah, go ahead, we already know.  What the doctor said next shocked and shook me to my core.

“That’s definitely…” (pause for effect) “… a LABIA!”

A WHAT?!??

Alex and I both looked at each other. A what?!?

Wait. What?!
Then it clicked. Girl parts.

“Congratulations, you are going to have baby girl!”

I froze.

I was expecting the word “penis.”  Panic swept through me and I immediately withdrew and got quiet.

At dinner I started to cry.  My husband, having no clue what was going through my mind rushed to my side but my face said it all: I was scared. Really, really scared.

Girl parts…

Breasts.

Anna's 3D ultrasound

I’m not saying this was a normal person’s reaction to hearing the news about the sex of a baby you’ve desperately wanted for years but in hindsight I’d like to think it was the protective mother bear in me showing my claws.  Then again, my reaction may not have been totally unreasonable given that my life so far had been riddled with breast and ovarian cancer. My mother had fought endometrial cancer once and breast cancer TWICE and then lost. Her mother had passed away from ovarian cancer at the age of 34.  Personally, I had had my first mammogram at 21 and was aggressively screened every 6 months ever since.  All of my appointments were met with anxious trepidation and waiting for results was sometimes excruciating.  Basically, some days it felt like I was just waiting for my sentence to begin, for the other shoe to drop.

Girl parts brought nothing but trouble I was convinced.

The guilt that washed over me was intense. Here I was bringing another girl into the world that might have to deal with this legacy. Another daughter possibly having to watch her mother deal with a deadly diagnosis or worse deal with the dreaded C herself.  I felt completely helpless, as if I had failed at motherhood before I even got started.

[Note: I should have been equally upset regardless of the sex of our baby as men can get breast cancer too but at the time I did not fully process this fact.]

Through my tears, I whispered to Alex my fears, trying to keep my composure.  He did what he could to reassure me, with his arm around me saying: “everything is going to be ok.” And while comforting and all, this only gave my pregnancy hormones license to let loose and I became an embarrassing sobbing mess, crying: “I’m sorry I’m defective, I’m so sorry.”

“You’re not.” He answered.  ”We will deal with it. C’mon, calm down. It’s ok… Be happy!  A little girl!”  And on and on, he tried.

Finally he resorted to sharing some of his own fears: A daughter meant one day: boys, dating, clothing choices…  Jokingly, he vowed to make it his mission to have all mini-skirts banned by the time she would turn 13 and to drive a petition to make burkas the fashion norm.

I laughed.  This is one of his greatest strengths – to balance me. Somehow he managed to calm my anxiety with logic and reason and then when all else fails he’d make me laugh with his wacko sense of humor.

Once again composed, I switched from basket case to problem solver.  I needed action, a plan to calm my fears.  And for the first time, I suggested and seriously considered getting myself tested for the BRCA 1 and 2 genes, the breast and ovarian cancer gene markers.  I needed to know once and for all.

I was going to be this little girl’s Mommy and I wanted to be around.

…to be continued.

The post BRCA Genetic Testing PART 1: Girl Parts appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.

I want to tell you a little story… about BMW, breast cancer and my Mom.

In 1999, my mom and I walked our last Race for the Cure together. She was team captain and had assembled a BIG team by convincing her entire office to do the walk with us. She had shamelessly told them: “Look, I’m dying because of this horrible disease so you can walk with me and raise awareness!”

She could get away with stuff like that.

The team was huge and she organized everything including buses to transport us from Westchester to Central Park on that hot and muggy day.   Leading up to the event, she was the consummate cheerleader, making sure everyone was excited.

I’ll never forget how excited she was when she saw a copy of USA Today and a particular ad for BMW one day.  A friend of mine, Alex Schmück, worked for BMW and was involved in their breast cancer awareness campaign, called the Ultimate Drive Campaign. For every mile that customers would test drive a BMW, the company used to donate $1 to the Susan G. Komen foundation. From 1997 to 2008 they raised over $12 Million dollars. Sadly, they no longer offer this program.

Anyway…

The advert in USA Today was simple, from far away it looked like a pink breast cancer ribbon on a grey background, only it wasn’t. Up close, you realized the entire image was made up of the names of survivors and loved ones. A pixelated image of amazing women and men who had fought this insidious disease. My mother’s name was among them.

I will never forget how excited she was and how she ran around the office showing everyone. She just kept saying; “This is SOOO cool!”

I think she thought this shout-out made her famous or something.

Here’s some photos from our last Race for the Cure together:

Race for the Cure NY 1999

Our team 1999

In a city of millions, we bumped into her stem-cell transplant team from 1998 from New York Presbyterian Hospital. They were also walking the race. Love them.

In honor of that great ad, the awareness it created and the joyous feeling it gave my mom, I’d like to re-create it.

On the back of Team Maidens for Mammograms and Margaritas’ 2011 shirts, we would like have a pink ribbon and grey background made up with names of YOUR loved ones.

Our t-shirts will look something like this:

Front

On the back we will list  the names of people that we will be walking in honor of.  The list includes the names of survivors, previvors, and those that we miss dearly.

Back

We have listed names before, when we walked in September of 2000, 3 months after she passed away.

Here’s a picture of our team and our t-shirt that year:

"Susan's Team" My girlfriends walked with me in honor of my Mom. Race for the Cure NYC September 2000

Back of the 2000 shirts: Caption Denial N' Margaritas and our list of names.

So please, send me an email at [email protected]  or leave a comment below if you would like Maidens for Mammograms & Margaritas to add your/their name to our team shirts.

We will proudly walk 60-miles in honor of them and hope that one day we won’t need these shirts at all.

You can also DM me on twitter @PeriwinklePapi

And while we are on the topic, have you had your annual mammogram?

Love,

Sara
Team Captain
Maidens for Mammograms & Margaritas

The post Walking in Honor Of… appeared first on Periwinkle Papillon.